My mama don't live here, telemarketer

"Can I please talk to
Mrs C-?" There is no
Mrs C- here.

I won! I won!

I always think it's funny when people say they've "won" something on ebay, as if they're getting it for free.

Here's a print I "won" in one of the many auctions I bid on, in support of Haitian relief efforts (this one by Indie Fixx). It's from Sycamore Street Press and features cats (and people) with moustaches. CATS with MOUSTACHES, people. It's printed with a letterpress printer, too. Of course, I am not a cat person, so I had it sent to Tanny and Matty in the USA. I am unsure if they are cat people either, but they are definitely MOUSTACHE and LETTERPRESS people.

I love Sycamore Street Press. PS, they are giving away another letterpress print on their blog, of a ROBOT RIDING A BICYCLE. I cannot describe its awesomeness. Go enter. No, I am not earning commission. I am just grateful for everything I have (even my encounters with penile implants, without which I would be unemployed).

Yet more giveaways

I looked over to my shared items list from Google Reader (or Goggle Reader as I prefer to type) and noticed that most of the items are giveaways...here are some more you may like...

• Win a Fuji Instax (or an SLR bag but who would pick that over an Instax? Someone with an SLR, I guess) at Creature Comforts;
• Win a super super super cool "Fungus Among Us" print by Justin Richel over at Westervin, a very cool new blog I discovered after one of its authors stalked me from my comment at the Justin Richel giveaway on papernstitch (see previous post). If you enter that one, please put "Elissa C" somewhere in your comment and I'll get an extra entry and LOVE YOU LONG TIME;

Okay, now I'm bored of typing. You probably already read Creature Comforts so I won't tell you to go there but you should check out Westervin as they have some cool collages, cool cocktails and excellent Oxfords (shoes, I mean).

Give it away give it away give it away now

There is so much great stuff being given away on blogs. Recently, papernstitch did a tour of the studio of fine artist Shannon Rankin. This week, papernstitch are having three giveaways to celebrate Intersect, the new collaboration between Justin Richel and Shannon Rankin. Shannon Rankin (Selflesh) makes awesome anatomical collages using maps. Justin Richel draws crazy cool illustrations of people with stuff coming out of their heads. (I already had both their etsy stores favourited.) Together, they are making beautiful collages (notice that I am not an artist, nor am I a writer and therefore I do not have to use fancy adjectives to describe their work or my reactions when I see it).

To win an Intersect print, enter here.
To win a Justin Richel print (of birds standing on each others' heads!), enter here.
To win a Shannon Rankin embroidered print, enter here.


Also, read the papernstitch blog! It's cool. 

Haiku shit

No haiku today
I am far too important
And I'm zzz...

I hope my Dad doesn't get one

It's disconcerting
Talking to someone who is
Semi-tumescent

The penile implant.
It's malleable and I
Find it disturbing

Response to W&M's comment in post below

If it is real poop
I have to say it's lucky
That my shit don't stink

I love your haiku!
If there are tears they will be
Tears of happiness.

I wanted it to be shit, especially the excrement

My new blog header
You'd better like it, bitches
Or I'm gonna cry

Mr Pompom Head

 

I have a friend D who likes to make mixtapes with songs containing the word fuck,  and whose birthday it is today. I gave her this skipping rope badge (the skipping rope is a chain! Genius) although as any bespectacled person will tell you, skipping in glasses is not convenient. Fortunately for this lass, the glasses have no chance of falling off her sweaty nose or steaming up so she can't see the hairy instructor.

  

I can't remember who made this card; I bought it in Portland. I love Bill Waterson and that pompom head toilet roll guy really tugs at my heart strings. However bad my job may be, at least I'm not in charge of toilet paper. 

Happy Birthday D.

Stuff I did tonight when I should have been studying

Little Creatures Pils,
Stella Artois, Jägerbomb*
Vodka, tequila.

*I have not turned into an American college student. Someone bought it for me.

More auctions for Haiti

Remember how I posted about buying stuff in support of Haiti and how it made me feel like a privileged wanker? One of the sites, Switch Cities, raised so much money that they're having a second auction. The prints are massive (I thought the sizes must be in centimetres despite being American but they're really inches - c'mon ladies, how often do you get a pleasant surprise like that!) and the bidding starts ridiculously low. All of the proceeds are going to charity with no profits to the photographers. Go here to bid on beauties like these (by Marina Miller, top, and Jonas Peterson, below).

There's a similar auction, with proceeds to Hope for Haiti Now, over at Erin Lassahn Photography. Bids on these pretties start at US$10 and as I write this, some photos don't have any bids (such as this 13x13 print by Steven Kim, below)!

 

Adorn your walls and support an extremely worthy cause while you do it (and lose some middle class guilt).

I'm so calm when I look at these

My new sedative
Prescribed by Doctor Tumblr
He keeps me serene

Chimeric

Just 'cause.

1. annette pehrsson via sfgirlbybay 

2. 史黛普．王 

3. via wildfox via toujours amoureux 

4. graham samuels via uncle beefy

Hello, Mr Bunny

Mr Bunny used to live in the guest bathroom but I moved him back out to the photo wall. I bought him at an art exhibit at Seibu Loft (aka heaven) last time I was in Japan. I am not sure of the artist's name due to my lack of Japanese.

I keep buying new photos and prints and the wall is running out of space. (I wonder if I can fit it all in one photo?)

I keep seeing blog posts (most recently on From the Right Bank) about art walls, with elaborate planning of the position of each frame, either using CAD or cutting out paper to represent each frame and sticking it on the wall, or laying all the frames on the floor until you decide on the best layout. Wow. Mine have just been stuck up there completely at random. If I had a spirit level I would probably have used it but I find all the wonkiness cancels itself out. Meh.

You call that camp? THIS is camp.

Male figure skater
Caresses his own buttock
Gyrates his pelvis



Johnny Weir discovered via Go Fug Yourself. Someone better do Gaga at the winter Olympics.

Americans and Australians

You say melena; I say melaena. Either way, it's disgusting.

Nice Package

Last week I received a surprise in the post - a Christmas gift (well, it was wrapped in Christmas paper) from my uni bestie, Mr Doink. He gives excellent presents - once, he gave me a roll of gaffer tape, citing its utility for mending torn clothes. This time, he sent a fun Gin & Titonic ice cube mould plus some smiling ghost magnets from Melbourne's HMC Designs. The magnets have been useful for attaching my study timetable to the metal strips I hung over my desk last weekend after moving my desk.

Where he outdid himself was with the card. I hope he doesn't mind me sharing it with you. The message isn't too personal. Unless I read into the fact that it is a sticky note advertising a cervical cancer vaccine, that I can't even get any more (unless I pay for it) because I'M TOO OLD. (Also, I wonder if he forgot that I don't take drug company freebies.)

I hope he doesn't think I'm being ungrateful! I love my present, Dave. I hope you loved yours too. Can't wait until next Christmas.

I'm studying while the rest of the country gets drunk

Image via Little Suitcase

Australia Day.
I'll study liver disease
To placate myself.

An observation

Reflection of my
Cleavage in computer screen
Is quite flattering

Summer's sartorial splendour

To girl in white dress:
Next time, please wear a bra, and
Don't bend down so far.